i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i will never coherently bang her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize