these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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