Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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