Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize