And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
