writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
