Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
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