real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
