He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
