I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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