His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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