Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
