Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How external is "for external use only"?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
