Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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