Soap is not a condiment
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize