We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
