Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
