Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I forget how to act sober
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