he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize