This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
