K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
