I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
