people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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