Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
