You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
