I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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