I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
