so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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