Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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