Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
