she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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