I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
