I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
