one might say we're banned from that church
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
