We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
