You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
