I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
