You work out of a Hotel?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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