i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
