You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
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I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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