From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
