omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
