I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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