She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.