She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
