i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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