Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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