that's an acceptable place to lick
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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