I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
