In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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