"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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