That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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