Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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