is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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