we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
