yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My butt remains clenched, sir.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
