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So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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