actually, I'm a sock model
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor