that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream